i'm moody, i'm messy, i get restless and defenseless....

my to do list is like 1000 miles long

i keept telling myself that i will deal with it tomorrow but then "tomorrow" becomes next week and then next month and that's how i miss birthdays and accrue late fees.....

the truth is that i just don't want to deal with things.  i don't want to be responsible for anything other than remembering to breathe.  everything else just feels like bullshit.

i've never been good at remembering details...at tending to the little things that keep the big things in order.

right now i feel like i need to actually put the things that i need to do in writing somewhere:
- morning prayer
- gym
- mediate/free write
- eat healthy
- work productively
- practice gratitude
- be in the moment
- yoga/dance
- write/work on my book
- connect with friends
- love
- meditate
- pray
- release the blocks in all areas of my life where i'm living small

there......i kind of like that list.