june 1st will be 16 years since it happened
16 candles down the drain
it can feel that way sometimes- like my life in present tense is a direct result of what happened on that day. every circumstance that followed was like fall-out and for the most part, i don't really know how i got here.
i would like to think that one event would not define my entire life-- but it did. i was scared and just did not know how to deal. period. end of story.
it was a flat line for me......and i didn't think there was a way up or a way out. i was just crossing days off of the calendar.....faking my way throught the day and wasting time.
16 candles down the drain.
this morning i woke up and didn't go to the gym. i just stayed in bed-- under the blankets- slightly cold, listening to the birds chirping. spring is on the way. i could almost feel a soft breeze in my hair and grass under my skin....and i felt genuinely happy.
life is good. don't get me wrong-- situations can totally suck-- hours, days, years can be relentless but the someday the sun will rise and the birds will chirp and you will feel the grass on your skin and know that you are totally fucking supporting by universe and you will feel warmth from the inside out and know that life is good.
it might take 16 years.......but if it can happen for me. it can happen for you.
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