circles and triangles and now we're hanging out with your new girlfriend so far from where we've been.

i don't know if i ever told you, but i was a wreck when we broke up.

heartbroken.

someone had told me that it takes half of the amount of time that you've been with someone to get over them....but i'm pretty sure i cried far longer than that.

i didn't think i would ever stop missing you.  and it felt so tragic, to be young and feel so much love for someone and then lose it.

it didn't make sense to me............i mean, yeah, it didn't make sense to me at all how it almost seemed like you never even existed-- like you wanted it that way.

where do those feelings go?  not my feelings (i know all about my feelings)-- i guess what mean is where did yours go?

i felt mine.  i felt mine every time i walked by central park, sent an email, used my cell phone.....everything i did, everything i saw, every breath i took....hurt-- because it reminded me of you.

10 years later and i can't really remember all of the details- how it happened exactly, when "we" were suddenly back to "you" and "me".

i know we talked about it-- it might have even been me that said it.  but what it felt like then, and even a little bit now, was that one day you were just gone and there was nothing that i could do about it.

you were not coming back.  and all the things we did together, all the places we went together-- i was now doing/going alone; only broken in half.  half of the whole "us".

my tragic love story... quite possibly your happy ending.

i can laugh about it now but i wore the shirt with your name on it, on the first date i ever went on (after you).  i mean, i wore it under a dress or something, but i wore your name across my heart.

but i'm not writing all this to remember all that.

i'm writing this because i could.  because one day became the next day and after that i stopped feeling sad.  i threw away that shirt (the one with your name on it) and i can't even tell you what happened to all of those letters you wrote me.  the ones i said i'd keep forever.

forever was about 2 years.  maybe 3.  (a little longer than your forever-- the one that you said you'd  love me for).

yeah.  it's okay to laugh.  (i know we're cool.)