i'm so tired but i can't sleep, standing on the edge of something much too deep

i feel like shit.  almost like i'm hungover or something.

obviously i'm not.

i'm just tired from the stress of yesterday.

and even though i was tired

like

i couldn't sleep

i couldn't like stay asleep last night

oh the places i've been

not physically

but mentally

the places i've been

this morning, on the way to work, i called my mother

and we talked about december 2005

i had given up

i was done

but my parents said- just try to get through the holiday

you know

and like my gift that year

was not under the christmas tree

no my gift was tt

my gift was having something to look forward to

because at that time in my life

there was nothing

there was nothing

and it's a strange fucking journey

like how you get there

and then how you get back

that's what this blog was really supposed to be

a place to get the creativity flowing again so that i could tell my story

because my story could be your story

sometimes we are all living

under a sky

without stars

but you will still find your way home

i can promise you that.

i can fucking promise you that