i must have just slipped your mind wonder why didn't i think of that

i think about calling you

like i look at my phone and

i think of what it would be like

to talk to you

because i remember what your voice sounds like

sort of

(or at least i pretend to)

before i put the phone down

and walk away


there is a reason why

you live your life

and i live mine


like there is a reason why

we don't speak


only i forgot

or i forget

or maybe i don't care


i'm messy

with my feelings

i'm careless

with myself


i don't put things where they belong


last night i found my socks

in a pair of shoes

that i have not worn

in weeks

i put them back

in the box

and even put the box

away in the closet


i do things like this when i cannot sleep


i agree

it's not right

the way i keep people

there

at a safe distance


maybe i just want

for you to reach me

no matter

what it takes

you know but as i write this

i think

if i let you


if i let you