Friday, January 27, 2012

waltz number 2

there are 2 people that i completely trust in this world:
my audiologist- Janis and my eye surgeon- Dr. Shabto

i have complete confidence that they know what they are talking about and that everything that they tell me is true.

if i could, i would like to bring my blanket and my pillow and curl up in one of their offices and just live there.  forever.  knowing that everything is going to be okay.

but instead, i live in an unpredictable 2 bedroom apartment in brooklyn where i lay awake at night wondering what's going to change from one minute to the next.  i breathe a shallow breath.....clutching onto anything (at the moment) that i think will keep me from falling

my instinct is to hold on but all i want to do is let go but i don't feel safe

number 2 texted me these lyrics today:
Sing a song for the disenchanted
Hum a hymn for the misdirected
A little love for the sons and daughters
shadow-sitting life in forgotten corners


and i texted number 2 back:
And I've been running around trying to find my home
Twenty years on the run trying to find my own


and then i realized that there is a third person that i trust completely.... and i felt less alone

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