if you ever look behind and don't like what you find, there's something you should know, you've got a place to go

i remember sitting across from you in some shitty diner.  we were drinking stale coffee and like, talking.

that was the second to last time i saw you if you don't count the summer after we stopped being friends.

i've been sitting here at my computer for a while now, trying to remember the first time we met.  what did i say to you, what did you say to me, that prompted us to be us-- like the way we were then?  because we were so different-- you and I.  

together 

we often walked outside the lines of campus, lingering as you smoked your cigarette.  

i can picture you in birkenstocks, your wet red hair tied back at your neck.  long sleeved and strong, i trusted your arms to be my safety net, as i slipped off the edge of that summer.  

this one time you were teaching me how to defend myself if i was ever attacked.  you were holding my wrists and it hurt-- but i liked it because you wouldn't let go.

but you did let go.  it's been years since i've known you.

strong

you were the fortress and i suppose i didn't earn the privilege of being let in.

every time i think of you i smile.