we gotta make a decision, leave tonight or live and die this way

it's been about 20 years 

since we've last seen each other 

but you would easily recognize me 

i'm still here

i'm still her 

i trip 

i fall 

i get in my own way 

i want more for myself 

than i can do for myself 

i do many things in a day 

but nothing worth doing 

i don't do the things i intend to do 

i don't finish what i start 

i've never been good at following directions 

i never know where the fuck i am 

or how to get where i want to go 

the only thing that makes sense to me is the ocean 

i know which way is out to sea 

and which way is back to shore 

sometimes i think about walking out to the pier 

and jumping off 

would i be scared 

or would i relax into the waves 

rocking me to eternal sleep? 

if i don't figure out what i want 

if i don't make a decision 

20 more years will pass 

and i will still be here 

i will still be her