since we've last seen each other
but you would easily recognize me
i'm still here
i'm still her
i trip
i fall
i get in my own way
i want more for myself
than i can do for myself
i do many things in a day
but nothing worth doing
i don't do the things i intend to do
i don't finish what i start
i've never been good at following directions
i never know where the fuck i am
or how to get where i want to go
the only thing that makes sense to me
is the ocean
i know which way is out to sea
and which way is back to shore
sometimes i think about walking out to the pier
and jumping off
would i be scared
or would i relax into the waves
rocking me to eternal sleep?
if i don't figure out what i want
if i don't make a decision
20 more years will pass
and i will still be here
i will still be her
