Thursday, May 2, 2013

Despite all my rage I still just a rat in a cage

I don't know why I walk on the lonely side of the street.  I'm not consciously choosing to cross out of the sun.  When I find myself on a desolate corner I feel a strange sense of peace underneath the initial panic.
When I am near people I feel suffocated.  Actions seem exaggerated.  Time passes painfully slow.  I'm overly aware of everything.  Its torture.
When I'm alone I can breathe.  You know, like I notice things but I don't care about them.  And I don't want to care about anything.
I want to resist and rebel and regret.
My lack of participation in the human race, a race I don't want to run, is constant.  I don't see myself as a part of it.  I'm on the outside.  On the outside looking in.

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