it rains in your bedroom everything is wrong it rains when you're there and it rains when you're gone

i don't know why it's so hard for me to write this.  maybe because it's about you.  or because i don't want you to know it's about you.

and i don't know why i care, like about you, anymore.  i mean, in some way i don't.  but it's obvious that in some way i do.

because i felt like you pulled the rug out from beneath me again.  like one minute you were there and then the next minute you were gone.  again.  

the truth is i don't want you here in my life.  i want you there.  in your life.  

i just want you to be the ever present you- the you who i write to.  and i want to tell you everything and know that when i do....it's gone.  you won't hold it against me, you won't hold me accountable, and that no matter what, you will let it go as you have let me go.

and we could both be free.